


The Nearness of Yuu

by bygoshbygolly



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Dreams, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-07-14 17:11:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7181915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bygoshbygolly/pseuds/bygoshbygolly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The dreams started a year ago. Every other week or so, at first, then more and more frequently, until it feels like he can't close his eyes now without seeing him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Nearness of Yuu

**Author's Note:**

> Based off Astro City's 'The Nearness of You'
> 
> There is a scene where Tanaka eyes up some sleeping pills with ambiguous intent, just a heads up.

They just need one more point to win. Tanaka can sense his teammates' determination and excitement. He can feel his heart pumping as he tracks the ball as it arcs across the net, is received, sent up into the air and he runs forward, jumps as the setter sets it, smacking it down as hard as he can, breaking through the other team's blockers to hit the floor with a satisfying thud. They've won.

He roars, thrusting his arms into the air. His teammates slam into him, shouting and laughing, and he turns around just in time to catch Noya, leapfrogging over the captain into his arms, brown eyes and smile shining bright. Noya squeezes him tight, shouting in Tanaka's ear, then pulls back and kisses him-

Tanaka wakes up.

“Fuck,” he mutters, slinging an arm over his face.

The dreams started a year ago. Every other week or so, at first, then more and more frequently, until it feels like he can't close his eyes now without seeing _him_.

Nishinoya Yuu, with his fast reflexes and gelled hair and bright face. With his loud laugh and terrible shirts and larger-than-life personality.

Nishinoya Yuu, who Tanaka has never met before, because he probably doesn't exist.

When the dreams started, Tanaka congratulated his brain on coming up with such a great guy. His literal dream boyfriend. When they started to become more frequent, he began asking his sister, his friends, his old teammates-- did they know a Nishinoya? Was he a neighbor? A classmate? Did he try out for the team, or did they play against him one time? No one knew what Tanaka was talking about. Even the internet doesn't have the answers. Tanaka knows Saeko and his friends are worried about him. He's worried, too.

Because he _knows_ Noya. Knows the smell of his hair gel (sometimes finds himself hesitating at the store as he walks by the brand). Knows his favorite popsicle flavor and that the backs of his knees are ticklish and that he is the worst person to watch movies with because he yells at everything cool that happens. He knows Noya like he knows himself, but Tanaka's never met him and he won't leave Tanaka alone.

Tanaka feels like he's tried everything. Tried staying awake, drank too many coffees and energy drinks until he was a nervous wreck, then crashed anyway. Gotten blind drunk, both alone and out with friends, hoping the alcohol would stop him from dreaming. It worked, for a while. But getting shitfaced on a regular basis isn't the best course of action, especially when you're as prone to getting into fights as Tanaka, and he forced himself to stop. He's on sleeping pills now. Probably should have tried those first, but he'd gone with his gut instead, even when his gut made bad decisions. The sleeping pills helped, for a while, but the dreams have been creeping back in. This is the third night in a row he's dreamed of Noya.

It would almost be better, he thinks, if they were nightmares, if he woke up screaming and terrified instead of desperately missing someone who he'd never known. He doesn't like nightmares, but he knows how to deal with them, how to separate them from reality. This...this he isn't sure about. And he's _so tired_.

He looks at the pill bottle on his bedside table. Bites his lip. If the usual dose won't keep the dreams away, maybe he should double it? Would that work? He opens the bottle, shakes two pills into his palm. He doesn't have work tomorrow. Shakes a few more out. He just wants the dreams to stop. Looks at the bottle again.

“Tanaka Ryuunosuke.” The voice is soft, and with everything else going on in his head Tanaka would ignore it, but then there's a woman standing in front of him, and she must be an angel because he's never seen someone so beautiful in his life.

“Who are you?” he asks.

“I am a Guardian,” she says.

“Like a guardian angel?” She smiles, softly, and he feels like he's just asked a stupid question.

“Not quite. I am a Guardian of the Universe. We are responsible for making sure things are as they should be. I am afraid we have failed you.”

“Failed me? How?” Tanaka can't imagine the woman in front of him capable of anything but perfection. Perhaps he would be a little more disbelieving if she wasn't so beautiful, or if things hadn't been so strange for him lately.

“There was...an accident. A large accident that should never have happened. Millions of people died who should have lived.” She spreads her hands. _Noya would love her_ , Tanaka thinks absently. “So we fixed it. Rewrote time and reset the Universe so that the accident never came to pass.” 

“I don't understand,” but he's close. He can feel himself teetering on the edge of understanding.

“Nishinoya Yuu,” the Guardian says, and he feels it click.

“He died, didn't he? In the accident?” She smiles, sadly.

“He was your lover, then, and now he has never existed.” Tanaka feels like he's been punched in the gut.

“What do you mean, 'then' and 'now'?”

“When we reset the Universe, there were some...inconsistencies. Most things happened as they should have, but some people...fell through the cracks. Their parents never met, or their grandparents. Most of the time, the ones who never existed are never remembered, but sometimes, such as now, the bond was so close that it still exists, despite the absence of one person.”

“That's,” Tanaka searches for words. “That's fucked up. Can you bring him back? It's just one person, right? And you came to see me, you said you failed me. You're bringing him back, right? That's what this is all about?”

“I'm sorry. I can't.” Tanaka growls and she lifts a hand to stop him. “It seems strange, but small changes are actually more difficult than large ones. No, I'm sorry. I came to let you know what happened, so that you understand, and to offer you a choice. I can leave now, having explained everything, and you will continue having these dreams, but your understanding will mean they no longer upset you. You will not remember all the details of our conversation, but you will nevertheless understand. Or, I can take away your memories of him, and you can continue living as you did before.”

Tanaka stares at her, thinking of the past year, all the dreams and trouble he's gone through, and makes his choice.

The next day, he runs errands and visits his sister, comes home, makes dinner, watches TV. After a few hours he heads to bed.

And dreams of Nishinoya Yuu.

(“I don't want to forget him.” The Guardian smiles.

“I thought so. No one ever chooses to forget.”)


End file.
